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Field Guide to Chicks of the United States

by Visit Amazon's Joe Bovino Page,search results,Joe Bovino,Carston Mell


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How can you find and identify the right woman to date, love or marry when the United States includes such an increasingly wide and confusing diversity of them?

Joe Bovino's Field Guide to Chicks of the United States combines the accuracy and precision of a bird guide with beautiful illustrations of American and hyphenated-American women, outlandish observational humor, and keen cultural insights on every page. It's the ultimate girl watching (or "chickspotting") companion for dating in the United States.

With its user-friendly trait charts, promiscuity ratings, range maps, and detailed descriptions of distinctive physical characteristics, behavioral tendencies, chick magnets, mating habits, and more, this well-researched guide is all you need to successfully locate, identify, and date women from 90 American subcultures (or "species"), including the following:

  • SILI-CLONE (Orange County, CA): Cross between Malibu Barbie and Jenna Jameson.
  • 49ER (San Francisco, CA): The 49er (a "4" who thinks she's a "9"), also known as the Mission Hipster chick, combines styles in search of a uniquely hip, bohemian or artsy look.
  • COONASS (Cajun): Fearless, outdoorsy tomboy who can gut a fish with her bare hands.
  • BUMBSHELL (Brazilian American): Ask this happy-go-lucky chick about her best feature and chances are she'll turn around and show you her big, cheeky bum bum.
  • BOUGIE (African-American, Professional): Fully qualified to be an NBA or NFL (draft) analyst.
  • YELLOW TAIL (Japanese American): Tends to have thick ankles and stubby "turnip legs" (daikon ashi) on a slim, petite frame.
  • PACKAGE DEAL (Single Mom): She makes it crystal-clear that she's a "package deal," and the package includes some other guy's spawn.
  • PERSIAN PRINCESS (Persian/Iranian American): Harder to crack than the DaVinci Code, but worth the wait if you have the skills.
  • HOLE IN ONE (Las Vegas, NV): Highly promiscuous and sexually aggressive, even if you're with another chick.
  • And Many More!
If you're easily offended, this book isn't for you. But if you like to laugh, this "funny because it's true" guide will give you hours of entertainment and serve as a handy reference tool.

Play the Field. Choose Wisely. Get the Guide.
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